No Country For Old Men

No Country For Old Men is a movie that’s really hard to describe. I’m not sure if it’s a western, a drama, a thriller, a horror movie, or a mystery. It’s really one of a kind, for sure, and won the Oscar for Best Picture earlier this year.

The movie follows three main characters. Llewelyn Moss, who is a Vietnam Vet who lives in a trailer with his wife, Ed Tom Bell, a Texas sheriff who is on the verge of retirement, and Anton Chigurh, who is, for lack of a better description, a creepy psycho killer. I won’t tell you what happens between the three, or even most of the movie, but I’ll at least give you the basics.

Llewelyn is out hunting one afternoon when he comes upon an apparent drug deal gone bad. Everyone at the scene is dead, save one man who is injured and begging for water. Llewelyn, I think, is genuinely a decent man, but he knows that if this is a drug deal where all the drug dealers are dead and the drugs are still present, there is probably some money to be found as well. He finds it…two million dollars in a briefcase. And, as there aren’t any witnesses that he can see, he decides that he’s going to take it.

Little does Llewelyn know what his quick decision is getting him into. See, Anton arrives at the crime scene with the expectation that the money would be waiting for him, and he’s really not too happy that it’s missing. As the money had been equipped with a transponder, he is able to track every move the Llewelyn makes in order to get the money back. Being the psycho killer that he very obviously is, (we know that from the very first scene) Chigurh goes on the hunt for Llewelyn, and nearly kills every person he meets along the way. There are a few lucky exceptions…but even they must have felt death looming as they were conversing with the creepy Chigurh. He is violent and has no remorse, and he scares the crap out of me. Seriously…that guy…I don’t want to meet him. Ever. I don’t even want to meet the actor who played him. I think I’d pee my pants. The scariest thing about him really is the fact that he shows nearly no emotion. He talks deadpan all the time. He never looks angry, but he never really smiles, either. He is totally calm in the craziest of situations…and that is freaking NUTS.

Tying the story together is Sheriff Bell…who is essentially looking for both men, or trying to get to Llewelyn before Anton does. He is quiet and wise, and is perfectly played by Tommy Lee Jones. He is also calm in most situations, but unlike Chigurh, he doesn’t make me want to cringe every time he’s on the screen. He’s overwhelmed by how much the world has changed since he became a Sheriff, by the violence of the crimes he’s witnessing, and by the weariness he feels after twenty years of service. He honestly wants nothing more than to stop what is going on around him…but deep in his heart, he knows that it’s too big for him.

The movie didn’t end the way I thought it would…but then, in the end, I don’t know how else it could have ended. In reality, story doesn’t really even end…we just stop getting to watch it. Like the events that surround Sheriff Bell, maybe the story of Moss, Chigurh, and Bell are too big for us…and we’ll never know how, or when, the end really comes.

One Missed Call

Re-making Japanese horror movies seems to be all the rage lately. We’ve had The Ring, The Ring 2, The Grudge, The Grudge 2, and probably some others that I don’t even know about. In the spirit of Japanese adaptations past, comes One Missed Call.

One by one, a group of college students are dying off, but not before each of them receives a strange call on their cell phone, from one of the previous victims. Of course this is somewhat tricky, as all of these previous victims are, of course, dead…(kind of pre-requisite for being a victim)…and really shouldn’t be able to make phone calls. Why none of the kids actually answer the calls when they come in is something of a mystery…each of them just lets the phone ring until the ringing stops and the screen ominously displays “One Missed Call.” When listening to their voicemails, they each hear a message containing their own voices, sometimes terrified, sometimes unexpecting…but their speech is always interrupted by their own death. The voicemails are always “left” at the exact day and time, in the future, when they will die. Kind of crappy, right?

The kids take out their batteries, they smash their phones, they do whatever they can think of to stop the cycle…but to no avail. The phones keep on ringing. You’d think, though, that they would maybe learn to NOT say the things that they are saying in the voicemails. Especially at the exact time when they are told they’ll die. I mean…MAYBE that would work. We never find out, though, because none of them try it. Instead they all repeat the words, verbatim, at the precise moment that they are meant to say them, and then die.

I wonder if the folks in Japan ever get bored with their horror movies. Things get pretty predictable from here on out. There is one girl who is determined to figure out what is causing the deaths of her friends before any more of them are victimized. Doing some detective work, she finds that that culprit is an unholy spirit, who is dead set on vengeance against anyone any everyone. Sound familiar? Yeah, to me, too. Whether or not our heroine will find the spirit and thwart it, all the while finding love with the only person who believes her, a detective whose sister was an early victim of the villain, is something I’ll let you find out on your own.

I’m not saying that One Missed Call isn’t scary. It has some very effective scares, and does just what it is supposed to do. One of these days, however, I’m just hoping that one of these movies from Japan will come up with something a little more original, instead of playing essentially out the same old story in a different way. If we're treated, in a year or two, to One Missed Call 2, or Another Missed Call, or anything of the sort...I just might have to skip it.

Juno

You know, I’m not really a big proponent for teenage pregnancy. I don’t know anyone who really thinks it’s “cool” or desirable. I have to say, however, that I did like the movie, Juno.

First off, the title character, Juno MacGuff, is honestly just a funny girl. She’s in a sucky situation, and she knows it…but she kind of carries herself through it with a good attitude, and makes the right choice (in my opinion) when she decides to go through with the pregnancy and give the baby up for adoption.

Juno is very concerned that her child is given to the “right” home…no weird or lame couple will do. She finds the “perfect couple” in Vanessa and Mark, who seem to be happily married and normal, as well as successful. Vanessa feels like she was born to be a mother, and welcomes Juno into their lives. Juno seems to bond initially more with Mark, who has a lot in common with her. However, after seeing Vanessa’s interaction with a child at the mall, Juno is clearly convinced that she has found the right mother for her baby.

The movie basically follows Juno’s entire “journey” over the next nine months. We see how she finds out that she’s pregnant, how she tells her family and friends, and how she bonds with the Lorings. We see how she deals with ridicule at school, but always holds her head high and has a quick one liner for every situation. Things don’t always go the way that she plans them, but she rolls with the punches and does the best she can with the hand she’s dealt herself.

Juno’s character is certainly what sells the movie for me, but I also am impressed with her support system. She’s got friends who continually stand by her, (including her best friend, Bleeker, who is also the father of the baby), and her family is very supportive. Although they definitely don’t like the situation, (I love the scene when Juno tells her dad and step-mom that she’s pregnant, and they lament that it hadn’t been something easier to take, like hard drug use or a DWI) they are there with her every step of the way. Her dad still sees her as his little girl, and wants to take care of her, while her step-mother, Brenda, though “tough” on the outside, clearly wants to protect her as well. This is obvious in one scene where an ultrasound technician expresses relief that Juno is giving the child up for adoption, because a teenager is obviously not fit to care for a child. Whether or not Brenda agrees with the notion that a child would be better off in a home with two (adult) parents, she sticks up for Juno, saying, of the adoptive parents, “They could be utterly negligent. Maybe they'll do a far shittier job of raising a kid than my dumbass step-daughter would. Have you considered that?”

Overall, the movie just made me smile, due mostly to the likeable (though sometimes awkward) characters. I am all for any movie that shows that good things can come from bad situations. Juno learns things about herself, builds a stronger relationship with her family, and realizes the importance of her true friends. And, when Vanessa is seen holding her child for the first time, I got a warm feeling that you generally wouldn’t associate with something as “ugly” as unplanned teenage pregnancy. Nobody likes clouds, but all of them potentially have silver linings…we just have to find them.

Cloverfield

I’m not 100% sure how to even write my review of Cloverfield. Number one, I think I was overly pumped up for the movie by a guy that I work with. Pretty much he said it was going to be the best thing ever. So…there was that. Also…I generally like a good scary movie…so I was all ready for the ride of my life. And I have to say…I love a good ride.

After having seen the movie, though...I feel like, instead of a trip on Space Mountain with an Indiana Jones Adventure chaser (yeah, I love Disneyland), I got a ride on a measly little Ferris Wheel. You see, I don’t really have anything against Ferris Wheels. They can be pleasant. They are fine. But they aren’t the ride of my life…not even close.

Cloverfield is the story of New York City, while it’s being attacked by a giant monster from who knows where. The movie is filmed from a camcorder, carried by the world’s most annoying man, running through the streets and chaos with his friends. So…it’s like Godzilla and the Blair Witch Project rolled into one. In addition to the huge monster, there are smaller, insect like monsters that fall from it’s back or something, and they attack people, too. A lot of people die. A lot of buildings are destroyed. The camcorder guy is annoying. Again and again and again.

And yeah…that’s about all I can say. Like, there isn’t really any more to the plot than that. And if you’re looking for resolution, you don’t get any…inevitably you know that the camcorder is going to have to just stop taping…and it does…pretty abruptly. And the credits roll.

I don’t know so much that I HATED the movie, as much as it just didn’t “do it” for me. It ended, and I felt like saying, “Oh…so what?”

Finally, had it been me, I would have dropped the camera a LONG time before our protagonists do…they carry that thing through thick and thin. But then, if I’m being attacked by a disgusting crab/spider/alien thing, (or eight of them) I’m pretty sure the camera isn’t going to be able to catch me from my “good side.”

Sweeney Todd

Okay…this is one I’ve been wanting to do for so long!! I saw Sweeney Todd in the theater twice and absolutely loved it. I decided to wait for the DVD release to do my official write-up though…and I have been counting down the days until I got to see it again…which I did last night.

Ahhhh…I really do just love this movie. It makes me so happy! Hahaha…when you know the premise, that might sound strange…but it is what it is. Sweeney Todd is the story of a barber, named Benjamin Barker, who is wrongfully imprisoned by an jerkface Judge, who wants to get Barker out of the picture so he can have Barker’s wife. 15 years after his imprisonment, he has escaped (or been released? Not sure) and has returned to London, having reinvented himself as a man named Sweeney Todd, hoping to find the family he’d left behind. He goes back to Mrs. Lovett’s Meat Pies shop…where he, his wife and daughter had rented a room. Instead of the happy homecoming he’d envisioned, however, he learns from Mrs. Lovett that his wife had poisoned herself, and that the Judge had taken custody of his daughter.

Upon this revelation, Todd vows revenge upon the Judge and all those who have wronged him in the past…enlisting the help of Mrs. Lovett. She is quite obviously in love with him, (though it is wasted, as he is consumed with memories of his wife and daughter alone) and is willing to do anything for him. Together they work up a plan that Todd will open his barber shop above her meat pie shop…and they will lure the Judge to him by developing a reputation around town for being the best barber in the business. After competing in a head to head “shave off” with the town’s “celebrity” barber, (and dispensing of that competition…quite literally) Todd begins to entertain more and more customers…some of which receive a shave that is a bit closer than they’d probably bargained for. Mrs. Lovett, whose pie shop had previously been struggling due to a lack of money, and therefore, a lack of meat…(she introduces herself in the movie as the maker of the “Worst Pies in London”)…finds her own business to be booming as Todd’s customers literally pile up, providing her daily with “fresh supplies.”

I honestly could go on and on and on about this movie…but I’ll stop there with the plot references. I will, however, give you the...

“Top Three Things I Love About Sweeney Todd”

The Music! The movie, which I would say is probably 75% music, is based on a Broadway musical, and the songs are addictive and contagious. I bought the soundtrack within days of seeing the movie and find myself singing the songs all the time. As dastardly as the plot may seem…the singing really balances out the horror of what is happening. I know that might sound weird…but it’s hard to remember that you’re watching a literal “slasher” flick, when the killer is singing a beautiful song about his long lost daughter.

Johnny Depp! I honestly can’t say enough about Mr. Depp. I just love that guy. Sometimes I think I feel about him the way that Mrs. Lovett feels about Mr. Todd…but I can safely say that I’d never bake a “Priest-filled Meat Pie” for him. Johnny’s performance as Sweeney is SOOO good…he’s dark and brooding…and envelopes the character entirely. Also, his singing voice is just perfect for the part.

Tim Burton! I think whenever a Tim Burton movie comes out, I’m pretty sure that I’m going to love it. He just makes good movies…that are fun to watch…even to look at. He’s paired so many times with Johnny Depp that they almost just seem to “go together” by default…but each new movie is something fresh and new…and he never disappoints me. I love that guy.

The movie, I guess, probably isn’t for everyone. If you don’t like musicals, for one…you probably won’t like this movie. If you love musicals, but don’t like people who’s motives are not always “honorable,” then maybe you should go rent Mary Poppins instead. Finally…there IS a fair amount of killing in the movie. But, like I said before…it feels less violent (at least to me) than it is…due to the dark humor and wonderful music, and Tim Burton’s artistic style. I love love love this movie…and it has become, immediately, one of my all time favorites.