Monday, April 28, 2008


I’m not 100% sure how to even write my review of Cloverfield. Number one, I think I was overly pumped up for the movie by a guy that I work with. Pretty much he said it was going to be the best thing ever. So…there was that. Also…I generally like a good scary movie…so I was all ready for the ride of my life. And I have to say…I love a good ride.

After having seen the movie, though...I feel like, instead of a trip on Space Mountain with an Indiana Jones Adventure chaser (yeah, I love Disneyland), I got a ride on a measly little Ferris Wheel. You see, I don’t really have anything against Ferris Wheels. They can be pleasant. They are fine. But they aren’t the ride of my life…not even close.

Cloverfield is the story of New York City, while it’s being attacked by a giant monster from who knows where. The movie is filmed from a camcorder, carried by the world’s most annoying man, running through the streets and chaos with his friends. So…it’s like Godzilla and the Blair Witch Project rolled into one. In addition to the huge monster, there are smaller, insect like monsters that fall from it’s back or something, and they attack people, too. A lot of people die. A lot of buildings are destroyed. The camcorder guy is annoying. Again and again and again.

And yeah…that’s about all I can say. Like, there isn’t really any more to the plot than that. And if you’re looking for resolution, you don’t get any…inevitably you know that the camcorder is going to have to just stop taping…and it does…pretty abruptly. And the credits roll.

I don’t know so much that I HATED the movie, as much as it just didn’t “do it” for me. It ended, and I felt like saying, “Oh…so what?”

Finally, had it been me, I would have dropped the camera a LONG time before our protagonists do…they carry that thing through thick and thin. But then, if I’m being attacked by a disgusting crab/spider/alien thing, (or eight of them) I’m pretty sure the camera isn’t going to be able to catch me from my “good side.”