He's Just Not That Into You

He’s Just Not That Into You is a movie about relationships…and the lies we tell ourselves…and each other…in order to survive them. As women, especially, we tend to analyze every single thing that a guy does and twist it into the meaning that we WANT it to have…rather than facing the truth. The movie rang true in a lot of ways that many romantic comedies don’t…and I actually squirmed a little bit as I saw behaviors that I’ve adopted in my own life…that, when seen on the big screen, are oh so pathetic. “Real” movies are good though…they make you think.

The movie follows the “love” lives of an ensemble of characters, who are all loosely related, if only in a “six degrees of separation” sense.

We meet:

Gigi…an eternally optimistic single girl…who is ALWAYS sure that each guy she meets just might be “the one,” in spite of the fact that so few of them are calling her when they say they will. Her first date, (of the movie) is with…

Conor…a real estate agent who was informally set up with Gigi, and who seems to have a decent time with her, but won’t even consider her as a girl he’d call again. He speaks to her about different advertising ploys he uses to get business, one of which is running ads through…

Mary…an advertising rep who never really “meets” anyone…but interacts with everyone via email, Myspace, and texting, and is disenchanted with modern day romance. Mary’s best friend is…

Anna…a struggling singer, who “hangs out” with Conor all the time, but isn’t in love with him…and won’t tell him as much. Anna takes Conor’s call…(which he makes immediately after leaving Gigi)…while shopping, but tells him she’ll call him back when she’s suddenly intrigued by a cute guy in line with her…

Ben…who is attracted to Anna, and finds her charming, but after flirting with her for 20 minutes, informs her that he’s married, and gets into the car with his waiting friend…

Neil…a genuinely good guy, who doesn’t believe in marriage, but is in a stable and long term relationship with…

Beth…who, though vocally accepting Neil’s reasons for avoiding marriage, still wants to marry him more than anything else. Beth works with…

Janine…who is not only married to who she calls “the best husband ever,” but is also Gigi’s sister…(Gigi also works with Beth & Janine)…who constantly gives her relationship advice when Gigi isn’t getting it from…

Alex…a bar owner and friend to Conor, who catches Gigi in a failed scheme to “run into” Conor after he’s failed to call. Alex is the character with all the insights…who sees things for what they really are…and breaks it to Gigi that if a guy wants to call…he’ll call. If a guy wants to be with a girl, he says…he’ll make it happen.

This is the premise of the whole movie, really…that things really ARE what they seem to be. Instead of making up excuses for the men who aren’t interested, or the women who are always aloof, we really need to face the fact that sometimes…He (or She) is just NOT that into us. Regardless of your history with them…regardless of what they say…sometimes…it’s their actions that matter. Also…we also need to accept that sometimes…people aren’t going to do all the things that we want them to…and that’s okay. We spend our lives convincing ourselves of realities that don’t exist, avoiding the truth that doesn’t fit in with our plans…in order to believe that we will achieve a dream that we might not even want. Instead, the movie reminds us that sometimes, if we take a look at what we REALLY want, and then just sit back and enjoy what life has in store for us…we just might be happy with the truth after all.